Cry it Out

I am not a fan of the cry it out method when kids are babies. As a matter of fact, I really didnt like it or use it at all until I had Ali. I think it is more out of knowledge/experiance that I use it. I dont like to use it often and maybe that leads to longer streches of her crying, who knows. But tonight was a night I kinda didnt really care. Ryan was not able to be home for bedtime, a co-workers newlywed husband is in the hospital for overdose. I know that is where Ryan needs to be and I am fully supportive of that. Ryan and I usually tag team bedtime. He reads, prays, and sings to Sammie and then to Dash in their own beds, while I feed and rock Ali. If Ali goes down quickly then I get to lay next to Sammie when Ryan is up with Dash. So when I am by myself, I have Sammie and Dash sitting in their bed with their books and the closet light on so they can "read" them, while I feed and rock Ali. Things were going so-so. I had to count for Sammie because she just couldnt sit. I got to 3 and that meant no story time, but I would sing to her and pray. Then she kept talking so I had to get up and flick her in the face, which meant I had just distrubed Ali so now she wasn't going to go to sleep. I placed her in her bed with two nuks and the proceeded, figuring she is so exhausted she'll fall asleep quickly. UH....NO! So I finished up with Sammie then went to Dash. We continued on with our routine and Sammie was still not sitting and was being naughty. I finished with Dash just as Ali was winding down. I was going to let it be, but then she piped up as I got to the door. So I pulled her from her crib and rocked her all the while Dash and Sammie are being naughty before my eyes. I got Ali back to sleep placed her in her bed and left. Within 10 min I had to go in and scold Dash and Sammie by taking their "glo" things away(dash's fishtank and sammie's gloworm). I have learned that spankings at bedtime just lead to "abuse" it seems~mostly they dont work, cuz they dont care. So instead I just went to taking things away. At one point I went in to find that Ali was sleeping, her fishtank was on, the big bedroom light was on and Dash and Sammie were giggling. Dash told me that it was cuz he wanted to see Sammie.....uh, no, it's bedtime! So I proceeded to take more things away. Well this led Dash to a frenzie cuz "I took his stuff". So he came to the door to tell me that I took his stuff when again I see Ali's fishtank on. I asked how it got on, knowing that Sammie did it, to hear Dash say that Sammie did it. So for that she got a spanking because she is to stay out of Ali's bed. This then brought on a new cry to the room and that woke up Ali. I know have all three crying in their rooms and am really ready to lose it. Knowing that how I react will show the kids what is the best way to react and so I choose to stay calm and not get emotional. I pulled Ali from the room, set up the pack n play in the living room and then headed to the shower to drownd out all the crying. I felt bad that Ali had to cry it out because it wasnt even her fault that she was awake, but I knew that if she didnt lay there just right, I was going to loose it. So to keep everyone safe, crying it out was today's best choice. I dont know how long Dash and Sammie kept it up but Ali was 20 min max! I could tell cuz her pnp was just outside the bathroom door!